News 'tickers' and NewsPickers
NewsPicker
I was reading the NewsTicker that scrolls along the bottom of the screen on CNN Headline News, and decided I'd start my own little NewsPicker rant: I can bitch at YOUR newsservice too! :) *wave* WithPleasure. To make it BETTER -- the ANSWERS are in the COMPLAINTS.
OilRigs in the Gulf have been evacuated due to Hurricane Katrina -- pushing oil prices to over $70/barrel.
The SuperDome is holding shelter to many residents of New Orleans. It sits downtown? Below the levies? Those pumps must be humming, eh? Moving the water, as quickly as possible, OUT of the basin where the city sits. Baten Rouge is bracing. Mobile. The entire region.
Why don't we have better shelters for disasters, first off????!!!! I guess building sports-arenas and leaving potholes unfilled is 'higher' on the priority-list? WTF? (Meanwhile, we can be thankful the SuperDome is protecting SOME, eh? Let's hope it holds up to the storm!)
Meanwhile, the 'news-stories' should be titled, "WeaponOfMassDestruction Unleashed In ActOfGod Vengence," -- OR -- "Mass-MurderingSuperBeing Holocausts Against Humanity?" -- OR -- "KinderGentlerGodOfAbraham Genocides The Gulf" -- OR -- "OurHeavenlyFather Is A Racist, Violent, PsychoPath?"
See how ridiculous religion is? All those TERRIFIED people huddled together, praying to the 'PerfectCreatorOfDeath.' WTF?
RobinMeade is sitting at the NewsDesk at CNNHeadlineNews switching back and forth between 'live' shots with other reporters who get 'caught up' in the excitement and tend to 'sex-up' the reporting a bit -- when 'on-sight' at 'disasters-in-progress.' This is NATURAL - everybody does it. Anyway, Robin interrupts, GENTLY/KINDLY, and 'brings them back to earth.' That's how good she is at her job. Keep that in mind.
(She, Robin, looks 'troubled' this morning -- I hope she's okay -- worried about the people/places being affected/brutalized by the hurricane? -- or, something that's none of our business? -- either way, she's right on top of it. Now, do you see why I admire her so much? -- (meanwhile, the perverts are focusing on my crotch, certain it has something to do with their own perverted fantasies which they PROJECT onto others). I call it an 'infatuation' that is completely nonsexual -- (but after seeing her walking around on-set, it JUST_SO_HAPPENS that her body is the 'size/shape' that my personal preferences do admire -- so what? -- time and place for that and SHE's NOT in it -- never was -- it's about the commentary/commentator that appeals to me most in THIS situation, get it? -- so, call it 'crush' -- whatever -- it's NOT fantasy-sex.)
You know those self-aggrandizing commercials on EVERY channel that PROMOTES newsSTORIES? "We're the BEST of the BEST of the BEST of the BEST and fuck the rest, type stuff? Well, CNNHN stopped doing that. I want to point that out in ALL CAPS. That's how significant it is -- it's THAT important. The CNNHN slogan is 'the most trusted name in news.' I've already had a complaint about that too -- but I've got to tell you how much I appreciate their slogan NOT being, "Best of the Best of the Best" to mindphuk you. Or, "Nobody Does It Better - We're Greater Than Number-1 -- Our STORIES are INVINCIBLE and INDISPUTABLE" -- see what I'm saying?
They're just people there in Atlanta, GA., USA (or wherever they are reporting from, I think it's Atlanta) -- CONNECTING with 'just more people' from all over -- all over the world. Including YOU -- me too.
So, they really do have the best 'format' -- the most 'down-to-earth' -- the most HONEST -- even with errors -- even with product promotional crap 'sexed-up' as NEWS when we ALL KNOW it's NOT -- and even withOUT Kendis Gibson and his quirky/original and therefore SPECIAL entertainment-segment -- and even that bizarre 'old-school' slogan 'most trusted name in news' -- even with ALL THAT, they really are 'All_That' when it comes to NewsServiceProductDelivery.
So, what would I SUGGEST to FIX it? In my honest opinion?
I'd start with the slogan: "most trusted name in news." The reason I'd start there is because news 'stories' are concatenations of BOTH fact and rumor AND products. TRUTH. We can PRETEND 'rumor' is 'opinion' or 'interpretation' or 'analysis' or whathaveyou, but 'rumor' it is, period.
So, what are we really saying with 'trusted?' We're self-promoting rumor-interpretation. I have a problem with that. I don't think it's VALID -- even if partially, errrrr, 'truthful.' I mean, after all, there are many newsservices that do NOTHING but promote blatant hyperbole, slander and patriotic/religious pandering as 'trusted rumormongering.' So, in that regard, for CNNHN to say 'most trusted name in news,' well, they really are. BESIDES THAT gem, that 'silver-lining,' the slogan sucks. It's like saying your nearly empty glass is, 'almost, nearly, half-full.'
Self-aggrandizing crap, is what that is. See how that works? It's really quite simple.
So, the ANSWERS are in the COMPLAINTS. Why are not complaints the MOST important aspect of ANY company or business or organization's INTERNAL_REVIEW processes? Think about it, eh? Don't look down your 'long-nose' at the 'disgruntled' just because THEY don't know how to do YOUR job and figure out how to FIX (solve/solution) things FOR you.
Okay, let's attempt to FIX the slogan by looking at several variations:
Here's the original: "CNN Headline News, the most trusted name in news."
First off, the word 'news' is redundent, yes? A slogan with repetitions becomes a chant, or goo-goo-ga-ga, take your pick. Anyway, we should first ATTEMPT to reduce the reptitions (but we lose 'meaning' from the original script, eh?) :
" -- the name to validate trust-in-news."
" -- the name that validates trusted-news." (see how this works?)
" -- our family-name for validating truth."
" -- validation is the name of trust." (we're getting somewhere, hang on)
" -- examining the most trusted news sources." (reporting is not the 'source', see?)
" -- the most trusted name to validate news."
Okay, done. I'm stickin' with that one as MY first-ATTEMPT:
"CNN Headline News: the most trusted name to validate news."
That eliminates and expunges the CRAP-interpretations and facilitates open-dialogue while promoting the precepts outlined within the UniversalTheorem: 1) news is NOT a 'story'; 2) 'rumors' need examination/validation; 3) complaints are JEWELS, treasures unto themselves FILLED with ANSWERS; 4) the PRODUCT is important, damned-important, VITAL, and the FAMILY-UNIT that offers it is OFFERING a SPECIFIC BENEFIT to AllThings -- OR, filling your mind with mindphukery -- which is it?
You see, 'trust' is an annochronysm -- it is the CENSORING of THOUGHT and DISSENT in all forms. It is saying, "...trust me on this -- don't bother thinking for yourself or I'll RETALIATE against you for not TRUSTING me." That's why I don't like the word 'trust.' It's OVERUSED/ABUSED/PERVERTED and it's VALID_MEANING has been replaced with crap.
SECOND_ATTEMPT at fixing the slogan:
"CNNHN: examining 'trust-in-news.'"
" -- naming news as a vital trust." (examining with word-meanings, searching for 'better')
" Trust CNNHeadlineNews' name to --" (to do what exactly? promote products?)
"Most trusted -" (small delivery -- MOST of humanity is censored from watching).
"CNNHeadlineNews, the most valid name in news."
And I like that one as my SECOND_ATTEMPT just fine, don't you?
"CNN Headline News, the most VALID name in news."
We addressed ALL the issues and ended up 'compromising' with the redundent use of the word 'news.' We eliminated the ambiguous and perverted word 'trust' and and replaced it with 'valid.'
And we ended up leaving the original wording almost entact while making the slogan BETTER.
But maybe it's not? Maybe somebody has a better slogan altogether?
With our current language-limitations (babbalization), we are hard-pressed to create REAL_Meaningful ad-slogans these days.
See, the word 'valid' is often used by 'attack-dogs' to knit-pick tiny, inconsequential errors and blow-them-up out of proportion, claiming, 'this isn't valid and that isn't valid so you're INVALID, therefore you OWE ME billions of dollars -- (or some similar shit, eh?).
So, do we make a THIRD_ATTEMPT or just leave it alone?
In order to AVOID the above 'circus,' we need find something BETTER, eh?
"CNNHeadlineNews: the most valid name in trusting-news."
"CNNHeadlineNews: the most trusted name to validate news."
Now we're back in the 'first_attempt' category.
I'm stickin' with it -- NOW, after going through the 'logic-loops' -- something you can see here for yourself -- this is the most HONEST slogan reduction, eh?
Got a better one? Whip it out! :)
" -- The Most Trusted Name To Validate News."
" -- To Validate News, A Name You Can Trust."
" -- Validating News By A Name You Trust."
" -- trust our name to validate news."
Yup -- I like those allot.
There, Robin&Company, and everybody else at CNN, I did something for you. You call it 'complaining' now? You call it 'bitter?' You call it 'hateful?' What? It's NONE of that. It's to make things BETTER for you, me, 'them,' 'us,' AllThings. Get it?
We're in it together. AllOfUs/AllOfYou/AllThings. Are you listening?
Will you pay my mortgage now? Please? It's due on the 9th of Sept. I'm sweatin' -- seriously -- 40-more-lashes a day of intense worry -- a misery of untold proportions -- ontop of all those other 'lashes.'
I was reading the NewsTicker that scrolls along the bottom of the screen on CNN Headline News, and decided I'd start my own little NewsPicker rant: I can bitch at YOUR newsservice too! :) *wave* WithPleasure. To make it BETTER -- the ANSWERS are in the COMPLAINTS.
OilRigs in the Gulf have been evacuated due to Hurricane Katrina -- pushing oil prices to over $70/barrel.
The SuperDome is holding shelter to many residents of New Orleans. It sits downtown? Below the levies? Those pumps must be humming, eh? Moving the water, as quickly as possible, OUT of the basin where the city sits. Baten Rouge is bracing. Mobile. The entire region.
Why don't we have better shelters for disasters, first off????!!!! I guess building sports-arenas and leaving potholes unfilled is 'higher' on the priority-list? WTF? (Meanwhile, we can be thankful the SuperDome is protecting SOME, eh? Let's hope it holds up to the storm!)
Meanwhile, the 'news-stories' should be titled, "WeaponOfMassDestruction Unleashed In ActOfGod Vengence," -- OR -- "Mass-MurderingSuperBeing Holocausts Against Humanity?" -- OR -- "KinderGentlerGodOfAbraham Genocides The Gulf" -- OR -- "OurHeavenlyFather Is A Racist, Violent, PsychoPath?"
See how ridiculous religion is? All those TERRIFIED people huddled together, praying to the 'PerfectCreatorOfDeath.' WTF?
RobinMeade is sitting at the NewsDesk at CNNHeadlineNews switching back and forth between 'live' shots with other reporters who get 'caught up' in the excitement and tend to 'sex-up' the reporting a bit -- when 'on-sight' at 'disasters-in-progress.' This is NATURAL - everybody does it. Anyway, Robin interrupts, GENTLY/KINDLY, and 'brings them back to earth.' That's how good she is at her job. Keep that in mind.
(She, Robin, looks 'troubled' this morning -- I hope she's okay -- worried about the people/places being affected/brutalized by the hurricane? -- or, something that's none of our business? -- either way, she's right on top of it. Now, do you see why I admire her so much? -- (meanwhile, the perverts are focusing on my crotch, certain it has something to do with their own perverted fantasies which they PROJECT onto others). I call it an 'infatuation' that is completely nonsexual -- (but after seeing her walking around on-set, it JUST_SO_HAPPENS that her body is the 'size/shape' that my personal preferences do admire -- so what? -- time and place for that and SHE's NOT in it -- never was -- it's about the commentary/commentator that appeals to me most in THIS situation, get it? -- so, call it 'crush' -- whatever -- it's NOT fantasy-sex.)
You know those self-aggrandizing commercials on EVERY channel that PROMOTES newsSTORIES? "We're the BEST of the BEST of the BEST of the BEST and fuck the rest, type stuff? Well, CNNHN stopped doing that. I want to point that out in ALL CAPS. That's how significant it is -- it's THAT important. The CNNHN slogan is 'the most trusted name in news.' I've already had a complaint about that too -- but I've got to tell you how much I appreciate their slogan NOT being, "Best of the Best of the Best" to mindphuk you. Or, "Nobody Does It Better - We're Greater Than Number-1 -- Our STORIES are INVINCIBLE and INDISPUTABLE" -- see what I'm saying?
They're just people there in Atlanta, GA., USA (or wherever they are reporting from, I think it's Atlanta) -- CONNECTING with 'just more people' from all over -- all over the world. Including YOU -- me too.
So, they really do have the best 'format' -- the most 'down-to-earth' -- the most HONEST -- even with errors -- even with product promotional crap 'sexed-up' as NEWS when we ALL KNOW it's NOT -- and even withOUT Kendis Gibson and his quirky/original and therefore SPECIAL entertainment-segment -- and even that bizarre 'old-school' slogan 'most trusted name in news' -- even with ALL THAT, they really are 'All_That' when it comes to NewsServiceProductDelivery.
So, what would I SUGGEST to FIX it? In my honest opinion?
I'd start with the slogan: "most trusted name in news." The reason I'd start there is because news 'stories' are concatenations of BOTH fact and rumor AND products. TRUTH. We can PRETEND 'rumor' is 'opinion' or 'interpretation' or 'analysis' or whathaveyou, but 'rumor' it is, period.
So, what are we really saying with 'trusted?' We're self-promoting rumor-interpretation. I have a problem with that. I don't think it's VALID -- even if partially, errrrr, 'truthful.' I mean, after all, there are many newsservices that do NOTHING but promote blatant hyperbole, slander and patriotic/religious pandering as 'trusted rumormongering.' So, in that regard, for CNNHN to say 'most trusted name in news,' well, they really are. BESIDES THAT gem, that 'silver-lining,' the slogan sucks. It's like saying your nearly empty glass is, 'almost, nearly, half-full.'
Self-aggrandizing crap, is what that is. See how that works? It's really quite simple.
So, the ANSWERS are in the COMPLAINTS. Why are not complaints the MOST important aspect of ANY company or business or organization's INTERNAL_REVIEW processes? Think about it, eh? Don't look down your 'long-nose' at the 'disgruntled' just because THEY don't know how to do YOUR job and figure out how to FIX (solve/solution) things FOR you.
Okay, let's attempt to FIX the slogan by looking at several variations:
Here's the original: "CNN Headline News, the most trusted name in news."
First off, the word 'news' is redundent, yes? A slogan with repetitions becomes a chant, or goo-goo-ga-ga, take your pick. Anyway, we should first ATTEMPT to reduce the reptitions (but we lose 'meaning' from the original script, eh?) :
" -- the name to validate trust-in-news."
" -- the name that validates trusted-news." (see how this works?)
" -- our family-name for validating truth."
" -- validation is the name of trust." (we're getting somewhere, hang on)
" -- examining the most trusted news sources." (reporting is not the 'source', see?)
" -- the most trusted name to validate news."
Okay, done. I'm stickin' with that one as MY first-ATTEMPT:
"CNN Headline News: the most trusted name to validate news."
That eliminates and expunges the CRAP-interpretations and facilitates open-dialogue while promoting the precepts outlined within the UniversalTheorem: 1) news is NOT a 'story'; 2) 'rumors' need examination/validation; 3) complaints are JEWELS, treasures unto themselves FILLED with ANSWERS; 4) the PRODUCT is important, damned-important, VITAL, and the FAMILY-UNIT that offers it is OFFERING a SPECIFIC BENEFIT to AllThings -- OR, filling your mind with mindphukery -- which is it?
You see, 'trust' is an annochronysm -- it is the CENSORING of THOUGHT and DISSENT in all forms. It is saying, "...trust me on this -- don't bother thinking for yourself or I'll RETALIATE against you for not TRUSTING me." That's why I don't like the word 'trust.' It's OVERUSED/ABUSED/PERVERTED and it's VALID_MEANING has been replaced with crap.
SECOND_ATTEMPT at fixing the slogan:
"CNNHN: examining 'trust-in-news.'"
" -- naming news as a vital trust." (examining with word-meanings, searching for 'better')
" Trust CNNHeadlineNews' name to --" (to do what exactly? promote products?)
"Most trusted -" (small delivery -- MOST of humanity is censored from watching).
"CNNHeadlineNews, the most valid name in news."
And I like that one as my SECOND_ATTEMPT just fine, don't you?
"CNN Headline News, the most VALID name in news."
We addressed ALL the issues and ended up 'compromising' with the redundent use of the word 'news.' We eliminated the ambiguous and perverted word 'trust' and and replaced it with 'valid.'
And we ended up leaving the original wording almost entact while making the slogan BETTER.
But maybe it's not? Maybe somebody has a better slogan altogether?
With our current language-limitations (babbalization), we are hard-pressed to create REAL_Meaningful ad-slogans these days.
See, the word 'valid' is often used by 'attack-dogs' to knit-pick tiny, inconsequential errors and blow-them-up out of proportion, claiming, 'this isn't valid and that isn't valid so you're INVALID, therefore you OWE ME billions of dollars -- (or some similar shit, eh?).
So, do we make a THIRD_ATTEMPT or just leave it alone?
In order to AVOID the above 'circus,' we need find something BETTER, eh?
"CNNHeadlineNews: the most valid name in trusting-news."
"CNNHeadlineNews: the most trusted name to validate news."
Now we're back in the 'first_attempt' category.
I'm stickin' with it -- NOW, after going through the 'logic-loops' -- something you can see here for yourself -- this is the most HONEST slogan reduction, eh?
Got a better one? Whip it out! :)
" -- The Most Trusted Name To Validate News."
" -- To Validate News, A Name You Can Trust."
" -- Validating News By A Name You Trust."
" -- trust our name to validate news."
Yup -- I like those allot.
There, Robin&Company, and everybody else at CNN, I did something for you. You call it 'complaining' now? You call it 'bitter?' You call it 'hateful?' What? It's NONE of that. It's to make things BETTER for you, me, 'them,' 'us,' AllThings. Get it?
We're in it together. AllOfUs/AllOfYou/AllThings. Are you listening?
Will you pay my mortgage now? Please? It's due on the 9th of Sept. I'm sweatin' -- seriously -- 40-more-lashes a day of intense worry -- a misery of untold proportions -- ontop of all those other 'lashes.'
posted by Clayton Leon Winton at 8:09 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home